Understanding and Overcoming Social Anxiety

December 17, 2024

Mollie Sandler, LCSW - Primary Therapist 

Social Anxiety During the Holidays

As we navigate through the holiday season, we may find our calendars full of social engagements, celebrations, and parties. Gatherings with family, friends, and co-workers can be exciting for some, but for others, it can be very challenging, especially for individuals dealing with social anxiety.

What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It manifests as an intense fear of being judged, scrutinized, and/or negatively evaluated in social situations. This fear can make everyday activities—like talking to colleagues and classmates, meeting new people, or even completing simple tasks — feel daunting.

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

For some, social anxiety may lead to avoiding situations that cause distress, creating significant barriers to living a fulfilling life. While avoidance may provide short-term relief, it often reinforces anxiety in the end, perpetuating the cycle of fear.

Prevalence of Anxiety in the US

It is estimated that about 7% of adults in the United States are diagnosed annually with social anxiety disorder and about 9% of youth will develop a social anxiety disorder throughout their childhood¹. However, it is important to note that social anxiety is often underdiagnosed because people avoid getting help.

Children vs Adults

Social anxiety can manifest differently in children compared to adults, largely due to developmental, social, and cognitive differences. Understanding these distinctions can help in identifying and addressing the condition appropriately for each age group.

Signs of Social Anxiety

Children

Children with social anxiety may not articulate their feelings of fear or self-consciousness as clearly as adults. Instead, their anxiety often manifests through observable behaviors, physical symptoms, and avoidance such as:

• Avoiding social interactions, such as refusing to play with peers or speak in class.
• Complaints of stomach aches, headaches, or nausea before social events.
• Difficulty speaking in certain settings, even if they are talkative at home.
• Fear of making mistakes in front of peers or authority figures, often leading to perfectionistic tendencies.
• Reluctance to participate in age-appropriate activities, such as raising their hand in class or joining extracurricular clubs.
• Older children and adolescents are more likely to internalize their fears and experience feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt related to peer acceptance.

Adults

In adults, social anxiety often presents with more internalized symptoms and a broader range of fears due to the complex social expectations of adulthood like:

• Avoiding social interactions and/or work- related events.
• Hesitancy in forming romantic relationships or initiating social connections.
• Preoccupation with negative self-perception and fear of judgment.
• Persistent rumination about past social interactions, focusing on perceived mistakes or awkwardness.

Effective Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety

While social anxiety can feel overwhelming, it is highly treatable with the right tools and mindset. Here are evidence-based approaches that can help:

1. Seek Professional Help
Therapy is one of the most effective ways to address social anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Exposure Therapy have been shown to be very effective in treating social anxiety.

2. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Learning to regulate your body's stress response can make navigating social situations easier. This includes breathing exercises and mindfulness exercises.

3. Engage in Behavioral Experiments

Gradual exposure to anxiety-provoking situations can help build confidence over time. Start small, with less intimidating tasks, and work your way up. Examples include:

• Asking a store employee or teacher for help
• Calling a friend to make plans or scheduling a playdate
• Complimenting a colleague or acquaintance

By practicing regularly, these situations will become more manageable and less anxiety-inducing.

4. Prepare for Social Interactions

Preparation can help alleviate anticipatory anxiety. Think of topics you might discuss, such as recent news, shared interests, or light-hearted stories. Having a few go-to conversation starters can make interactions feel less daunting.

5. Challenge Your Fears

Pay attention to how often your worst fears actually come true. Often, the situations we dread unfold more positively than we expect. Even when embarrassment occurs, remind yourself that it is temporary, and others are less likely to dwell on it than you might think.

By seeking help and practicing these techniques, individuals with social anxiety can reclaim their confidence, build meaningful connections, and engage fully in life’s opportunities. At HopeWay, it is common for clients to struggle with social anxiety. Many of our clients have been isolated due to their mental health condition, so reestablishing social connections in a safe environment is crucial to one's recovery. While many say group therapy is initially daunting, we often hear clients say it is one of the most powerful and transformative aspects of treatment. The journey may take time, but the results are life-changing.

1. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/social-anxiety-disorder

About the Author

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Mollie works with adolescents and adults to help them achieve the emotional and personal growth they want to see in their lives. She utilizes techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Positive Psychology, Acceptance Commitment Therapy and mindfulness to address struggles with anxiety, depression, self-esteem and relationships. She creates a safe, non-judgmental space for individuals to process their emotions and further develop skills that are designed to help them achieve their therapeutic goals.

Before joining the team, Mollie worked in various clinical settings including short-term crisis stabilization, an adolescent residential program and individual outpatient treatment. Originally from the Charlotte area, she received her undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and her Master’s in Social Work from New York University.