The Power of a Pause

November 08, 2024

Like many college students, I was always on the go, filling my day with classes, club meetings, work and time with friends. The thing about moving fast, though, is that you don’t necessarily have to think too much. It’s easy to go through the motions. Sometimes all it takes is a brief pause to realize that you’re actually struggling and need help.

That pause happened to me when I had a month off from school before starting a study abroad program. I went from constant busy-ness to being home by myself. I wasn’t used to that, and it brought back some of the depression and anxiety I dealt with in high school. I felt anxious about leaving my friends and being in a new city - feelings that are seemingly “normal” before a big change. However, these feelings continued to intensify. I started having intrusive thoughts and it was clear that this was more serious. Instead of boarding a flight to London, I went to the hospital. As I literally shook with anxiety, I was terrified because I didn’t know what was going on inside me. I wanted to be strong and fight to get better, but I didn’t know where to start.

Luckily, my parents found HopeWay.

On my first day in HopeWay’s Residential program, I was handed a detailed schedule packed with different groups, integrative and individual therapy sessions, and individual psychiatry appointments. The structure was comforting, similar to the amount of activity I was used to maintaining at school. However, instead of mindlessly going through my day, every aspect of treatment challenged me to be in the moment, reflect on my thoughts and emotions, and connect with those around me. As I settled into this new routine, I even decided to take a break from my phone for a while to make sure I stayed as present as possible.

Despite never really talking about how I felt before, the compassion of HopeWay’s therapists and the vulnerability of others in my group encouraged me to truly open up for the first time. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), I began to recognize patterns that negatively impacted my anxiety and depression and developed tools to disrupt those patterns. I processed my emotions and built confidence through creative outlets like Art Therapy and journaling. Through Music Therapy, I discovered a passion for playing the piano, using the notes to find moments of peace in stillness and solitude. The combination of therapies was exactly what I needed to understand what I was going through and address my struggles in a healthy way.

HopeWay restored hope in my life by helping me find the joy within myself again. The four months I spent in treatment (Residential, PHP and IOP) were powerful because every day I had to show up, acknowledge how I felt and lean into my support system. Now that I’m back at school, I’m more comfortable being open and vulnerable, sharing my HopeWay experience with my friends. I’m practicing more balance, setting aside intentional time for myself using creative outlets. Most of all, thanks to HopeWay, I’ve learned how to slow down, take care of my mental health, enjoy the small moments, and find the good in every day.