Navigating Holiday Meals with a Loved One in Eating Disorder Treatment

November 21, 2025

For many, holiday meals are centered around gratitude and togetherness. For someone navigating an eating disorder or disordered eating recovery, it can also bring extreme stress and anxiety. If you’re spending the holidays with a loved one in treatment or recovery, a little extra care and awareness can go a long way.

Here are some tips to create a positive, connection-focused holiday:

1. Avoid comments about appearance
   Even well-intended comments such as “You look great!” or “You look healthy!” can be triggering. Instead, focus on meaningful qualities: “It’s so good to see you,” or “I’m really glad we’re spending the day together.”
    
2. Skip remarks about food choices or portions
   Comments such as “that’s all you’re having?” or “I hope you’re going back for seconds!” can increase anxiety or guilt. Take care to refrain from comments such as "that's a lot of food" or "woah, are you going to eat all of that?" Allow everyone to approach the meal in a way that feels right for them.
    
3. Keep diet and exercise talk off the table
   Avoid discussing calories, “cheat meals,” or post-holiday workouts. Don't mention that "calories don't count on the holidays", or that desserts aren't "bad". These topics can make the day more difficult for those in recovery. Keep the conversation centered on gratitude, family, and connection. As a general rule of thumb, avoid talking about others' size/weight, or what they are or aren't eating. If the conversation does turn to diets, weight, or food guilt, a simple yet firm “let’s talk about something else” can help refocus the table energy.
    
4. Offer quiet support, not pressure
   Your loved one likely has a plan from their treatment team about how to navigate the meal. Trust that they know what they need. There’s no need to comment or monitor.
    
5. Make space for breaks
   Large meals and social settings can be overwhelming. Let your loved one know it’s perfectly okay to step away and take a breather. Make a plan to accommodate meals and snacks even if it doesn't stick to the exact same times as a "normal" day.
    
6. Emphasize gratitude over food
   Remind everyone that the holidays are about connection and togetherness, not the meal itself. Shared laughter and meaningful conversation matter most.
    
7. Check in with kindness
   If you notice your loved one struggling, check in privately and gently: “how are you doing?” or “would a little break help?” Simple, sincere questions go a long way.

Recovery is a journey, and holidays can be tough. By approaching the day with patience, understanding, and compassion, you can help your loved one feel supported and seen.