Why Both Parts Matter

September 30, 2024

Jen, Former Client 

Life Before HopeWay

I’ve spent my whole life chasing perfection in both my career and personal life. Growing up, I idolized my older brother, so when I landed a job at the same company as him, I felt fortunate but also determined to prove my own value. I worked hard but ended up being even harder on myself.

Constant self-doubt and fear of disappointment deteriorated my confidence for decades until it finally reached a tipping point. People in my life were surprised that I wrestled with anxiety and depression because I was so good at burying it. But it was only a matter of time until it all bubbled to the surface.

My Journey With HopeWay: Part 1

When my depression spiraled to the point that I stopped eating and leaving my home, my sister-in-law drove me from New Jersey to North Carolina to get help at HopeWay. Over a two-month period, I poured myself into every aspect of treatment, utilizing all three levels of care (Residential, PHP, and IOP). I had a transformative experience, tackling deeply rooted issues from my childhood and developing fundamental skills like practicing self-love, believing in my worth, and setting healthy boundaries.

I returned home ready to face the demands of my professional and personal life with newfound self-confidence. Then, 4 months later, stress about my job, my living situation, and some interpersonal relationships snowballed into a major depressive episode.

HopeWay Part 2: Rebuilding Who I Am

When I was admitted to HopeWay for the second time, it was hard not to view myself as a complete failure. The first time I came to treatment I felt depressed. The second time I felt paralyzed. How could I have tricked myself into thinking I was better? Was I really that out of touch with my emotions?

It took several weeks of treatment for me to begin to understand that both parts of my HopeWay journey were necessary for my recovery. Mental health is layered, and peeling back those layers takes time. HopeWay Part 1 allowed me to work through early life experiences that shaped who I was. HopeWay Part 2 gave me the strength to challenge core beliefs about myself and start rebuilding who I am today.

With encouragement from my primary therapist and other clients in my group therapy sessions, I finally let go of the parts of my life that were no longer serving me. I quit my high-pressure job, realizing that my work did not define my worth. I moved permanently to North Carolina where I would be surrounded by family and a supportive network of HopeWay alumni that still remain in my life. Where I had previously looked for constant improvement and perfection, I felt contentment for the first time in a long time.

Moving Forward Through HopeWay

I am extremely grateful for both parts of my HopeWay journey. I can now confidently move forward with writing the next chapter of my story using what I learned about myself and how I want to interact with the world. And I know that if I stumble, HopeWay will always be there to catch me and guide me towards hope and healing.